Question by c'etaitvous: Can anyone put my mind at ease? Psychology?
DISCLAIMER: THIS WILL TAKE A BIT TO READ BUT MY PSYCHOLOGIST IS BOOKED UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR SO I WOULD LIKE AN OUTSIDE OPINION.
I think that there is something wrong with my head.
About 3 months ago, my boyfriend and I got on the topic of "haunted items". He is not a believer in the things and I, growing up in a home full of ghost stories and Christian beliefs in demons and spirits, am. Well, I pulled out of Christianity in my early teens, seeking education instead of a set religion. But the whole idea of "possession" and "demons" still scared me to death and I became fascinated with everything that "scared me to death". Movies like "The Exorcist" and "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" were just MOVIES to me and I never even thought of them and when I watched them, I had the normal "OMG THAT'S SO SCARY" reaction.
Well, back on point, I decided that I was going to buy a haunted doll to prove to my boyfriend that it was all real. Well, shortly after doing the search on Ebay, I decided not to and ended up finding other "haunted" items. Well, a Ouija board popped up. And i thought "HEY, I'm going to buy a Ouija board and PROVE it that it's real!" Well, that evening, I convinced my roommate (who was terrified of the idea and tried to talk me out of it) to come with me to buy one and play with it with me. When we bought it, we came home and played and the board ended up spelling things that were unintelligible(i.e c4g7 etc etc), so we said Goodbye and put it away. Well, we played about 3 more times before I started feeling weird... like something was telling me to KEEP playing. Even though each and every time we played the board always said it wanted to talk to my roommate and nothing happened. It barely even said anything. But I always had the same reaction.. this rapid heartbeat, sweating, and fear and lightheadedness. Well, one night after playing earlier in the day, I started looking up "scary Ouija board stories" online. And there was this one that talked about these kids who played and ended up being attacked by a demon. I was so enveloped in the story that anytime anyone tried to talk to me, I would snap at them and try to get by myself so that I could read it with perfect concentration. Well, about mid-way through, I went outside to have a cigarette, taking my IPhone with me so I could continue to read, and all of a sudden a strange feeling started to creep up in me. Like this uncontrollable fear and this pounding heartbeat and a feeling of being uncomfortable within my own body and I couldn't stop shaking. I ran back into my house and went to find my roommate, who after she saw me, thought I was losing my mind. I ended up having a panic attack that lasted well into the next day, even after trying some deep breathing and trying to sleep. I told her the next day that I "needed to see a priest or a psychologist NOW". So she took me to a psychologist. After explaining everything to him, he just laughed at me, diagnosed me with severe anxiety disorder with paranoia and adult OCD and prescribed me Klonopin. The Klonopin helped, but made me feel like a completely different person and made me want to drink a lot of alcohol. Plus, after reading the long term effects of the drug and the withdrawal symptoms, I decided to stop taking it. Then, one day about a week later, my roommate and I were on the porch discussing the fact that I had went back to normal and then I proceeded to want to take a nap. Well, the second I laid down, I heard a voice in my head say "We are going to eat you from the inside out". I FLIPPED MY ***. I immediately called this Christian evangelist lady who proceeded to tell me I was under "demonic attack" and that I needed to repent and give my life back to God and to be delivered from it. So I agreed. My anxiety began to get better shortly after but not completely.
My full list of symptoms include: Terror, strange vision from time to time, nightmares that occur around 3 am, fear of sleeping before 3 am, tingling in the hands and feet, tingling sensation in the temples and my head feeling "full", racing heart, trembling, fear of anything related to the supernatural including movies, songs commercials, etc, moodiness and irritability, fear or demons and possession or becoming possessed, strange thoughts of it happening and fear of the IDEA of being better and not being better.
It's been 3 months and I'm still dealing with all of this. I just want to know WHAT'S exactly wrong and to get help and try to progress to being better. I do not want medication so, any ideas that don't require it would be wonderful.
Thank you so much, you have no idea how thankful I am.
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Try attending a Recovery Self Help Mental Health Group - they are free and all over the US. Lots of people with issues such as depression, anxiety, etc, go in order to learn coping skills together with others in a supportive environment.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.recovery-inc.com/about/about-self-help-systems.asp
Click on the 'find a meeting' link.
I only had to read for about 30 seconds to know that
ReplyDeleteyou do not have much "between your ears".....
Hey... Victoria here, maybe my personal story can give you some solace...
ReplyDeletea lil about me- about a year after my husband left me and my daughter died about 5 years ago.. I was at a very difficult point in my life, and was ultimately diagnosed with depression, severe anxiety, and panic disorder. I would say that i've always for the most part been a little depressed and had some degree of anxiety, but this just completely tipped the scale. I remember there were days on end I would just lie in bed, and whenever I would be in a social environment my anxiety would go through the roof and I would often have panic attacks. Therapy never seemed to be effective for me, and my psych put me on damn near every med out there. I've been on everything from wellbutrin to paxil, zoloft, prozac, lexapro, celexa, buspar, valium, klonopin, xanax.. etc. Sometimes 2-3 different ones in combo at the same time. Nothing really seemed to work for me. With the exception of some of the benzos (klono./xanax) .. these worked well for a little while, but I grew tolerance quickly, and became highly addicted.
Then one day while researching online i came across this reputable looking website http://www.anxiety.pcti-system.com .. which talked about this program to eliminate your anxiety for good, all naturally. Long story short, I wound up signing up to try it and the program worked amazing.. Not only do I no longer have panic attacks and anxiety gone, but my depression has also seemed to dissipate a little. And I'm currently starting to slowly ween off the meds I'm on. >>>>
I would personally say that possibly the biggest driving factor in all this is OCD. I think obsessing and constantly having your thoughts focused on your own condition and constantly analyzing your own thoughts/actions plays a very significant role in the persistence of our ails. Almost like the condition is a small lit fire, and OCD is the fuel that keeps it consistently burning... Also, I've come to the conclusion that meds are generally a unhealthy short term cure that only semi-treats the symptoms, and never the cause. Hope I was of some help!
In order to combat anxiety attacks, one must
ReplyDeletekeep a strong mjnd in order to eliminate the anxiety and stop tthe attack within minutes.
It's good to see our government and the military taking an
active interest in acupuncture to help our
troops, who have given so much for our country. Three
phone calls to the police, and no one attended.